Srinagar: Sania, 22, a female from the uptown Srinagar, indulged in substance abuse after being subjected to sex abuse in her childhood.

Sania said she chose drugs to overcome her depression that she had endured since she was six year old child.

She had been diagnosed with bi-polar and trauma by a psychiatrist at a young age of 14 after she had complained of nightmares and insomnia.

“I was molested for 3 years by that person when I was 6. It continued till I was 9. Until my adolescence, I did not know what I had faced in my childhood. And the moment I realized that I had been a victim of child sexual abuse I started having nightmares and lost sleep which lead to depression and anxiety,” Sania told The Kashmir Press.

“I could not sleep for days together and nightmares had made my life a living hell”.

The man who subjected her to sexual was her close relative.

Unable to get rid of the severe depression, Sania consulted doctors who prescribed medicines to treat her depression.

“I was prescribed anti psychotic medicine and after sometime that stopped working. So I started taking the medicine in bulk which is when I realized I had become an addict. I would pop twenty pills a day in my mouth. Only then would I find peace,” she said.

Given that the subject of child sexual abuse is a taboo in a society like Kashmir, Sania said it was hard for her to come out with what she had faced in the past.

“I tried to tell my mom about the abuse I had faced from the relative. She shuts me up saying it will ruin my future,” she said.

Unable to get rid of the severe depression, Sania consulted doctors who prescribed medicines to treat her depression.

Sania said she was getting choked inside as she was unable to tell anyone about her dreadful past.

“If I do it will ruin my future. It will also mean no one will be ready to marry me,” she said.

Later, Sania tried hard to get rid of drug abuse. While doing that, she had complete support of her  father.

“After I decided to give up the drugs, my father acted as a pillar. He saw it as a disease and helped me whenever I had problems. Otherwise it is not easy to face the withdrawal symptoms as it feels it would kill a person,” she said.

“Initially he would beat me but then he did some research. Somehow he got to know that beating etc is not the way to handle the substance abuse patients. So he resorted to kindness and thankfully that helped me a lot in overcoming the addiction,” said visibly upbeat Sania.

But, the story of 29-year-old Muzamil of Lal Bazar Srinagar is different from Sania.

He still remembers the day he smoked weed for the first time.

It was a cold December day of 2005 when he inhaled the puffs of weed because he was looking for an escape after his girlfriend ditched him.

Then 16, Muzamil was studying in the tenth standard in a famous Srinagar school. He used to smoke cigarettes, weed but hardly had any idea about drugs and opioids.

Even if it has been a decade since he pulled the puffs of weed, he continues to be an addicted man.

“It was the biggest mistake of my life. I would pay anything to get rid of it but I am not able to,” Muzamil said.

According to studies, cannabis also known as marijuana is a psychoactive drug used for recreation whose long-term usage can lead to addiction, decreased mental ability and behavioural problems. It can also cause anxiety, paranoia, constant mucus filled cough and loss of control among others.

Muzamil has contracted all these problems due to over usage of cannabis. He is suffering from anger issues and has behavioural problems that include mood swings.

“I have been smoking weed for 13 years now and people consider me as a madman for my actions,” he said.

Muzamil said that his behavioural problems have reached to such a level that he now indulges in petty fights.

“People fear me. However, the reality is that I am a coward. I use cannabis and sometimes drugs to overcome my fear,” he adds with a wry smile.

According to a survey conducted by united drug control programme, there are seventy thousand drug addicts in Kashmir including four thousand women.

Unlike Sania, Muzamil however has not been lucky enough to find a support system that would allow him to give up the drugs.

“Ba chus yesan yi balayi travin magar chalani chuna (I wish to give up drugs but I am not able to do so),” he said amidst the sobs.

“My family has given upon me. They hate me. They think I smoke weed as a hobby. But the fact is that I am not able to control my cravings for the smokes,” he said.

According to a survey conducted by united drug control programme, there are seventy thousand drug addicts in Kashmir including four thousand women.

Muzamil said once he was lodged in central jail so that it could end his addiction with weed.

“I was in central jail for six months. Once I returned I again resorted to cannabis,” he said.

According to Dr Arif Maghribi Khan, who works in community psychiatry, there are two major reasons for the drug abuse in Kashmir.

“One is that our social values are degrading alarmingly and the other main reason is the never ending conflict,” Khan, who is treating drug addicts for more than 6 years in Kashmir, told The Kashmir Press.

The uncertainty associated with the conflict is the defining factor for drug addiction, Khan said.

“Many of my patients relapsed due to uncertainties associated with the living here,” he adds.

Khan also believes that the social fabric of the Kashmir society is to blame for the increase in the drug abuse in the valley.

“When you don’t have someone to talk to during times of distress, you seek help. Drugs prove to be helpful. But later it turns out to be disaster,” he said.

I wish to give up drugs but I am not able to do so

Aijaz Ahmad Bund an activist who specialises in mental health believes that stigma associated with subjects like depression and child sexual abuse can lead to people resorting to negative coping mechanisms like drug abuse.

“It is important that we talk about such things so that people get a platform to vent out their frustrations. It will help them to reduce their negative coping mechanisms like drug abuse,” he said.

Bund believes that people need to be emphatic listeners in order to help those suffering from the disease of drug addiction.